Clones Will Save the Music Business

There’s my usual rants. . . and then there’s this one.  Strap yourselves in children.

I had a dream last night.  Not a momentous dream, like Dr. King.  More like a Hunter S. Thompson production, although I went to bed early & sober.  I don’t recommend either, btw.

My dream was a realization.  A realization that the music business (and likely the movie biz as well) will be saved by clones.  You read that last part correctly.  Think about it  – although not too hard.  But think.

If we start doing some stem cell shit a la ‘The Clonus horror (look it up bitch – ‘The Island’ my ass), we could start harvesting organs from clones.  Or creating clones to be slaves.  Well, slave clones won’t know a thing about Led Zeppelin ‘4’, will they?  And because we, as their evil, selfish overlords will make them work BUT NOT DRIVE, they’ll take buses.

Translation: more discretionary income.  And a lack of historical music knowledge.  Cha-CHING.

And they’ll work crappy labor jobs that no one else wants.  So they’ll need Ipods to keep sane. . . thus, a need for more music.

And as the pliable servants that they are, morality can be instilled in them in some draconian method we’d never conceive of using on our own children (cough cough waterboarding cough).  It would stick too.  So we could instill a ‘downloading is evil’ mentality.  Hell, they might even understand & appreciate DRM.  Ok, THAT last part was really out there.

So that was the dream, or the jist of it.  Fuckin’ weird, eh?  But you know what?  Somewhere out there, in the bowels of the Capitol records building maybe. . .don’t think some Jurassic Park type shit isn’t going on.  Gene splicing, In Vitro, Out of Vitro. . . we don’t need no stinkin’ Vitro. . . you name it.  If the RIAA can come up with it, it’s in a petri dish somewhere.

And it’s plugged in baby.  Literally.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Powered by WordPress and MagTheme