5 Positive Things About THIS Black Monday

The Dow dropped 778 points today after congress failed to pass the 700 Billion dollar bank bailout plan -the largest single-day stock drop in American history.   I’d like to hope that this delay means some of our esteemed Congressmen are thinking this rather expensive notion all the way through rather than reacting in a knee jerk fashion, but who am I kidding?  More likely it’s partyline posturing & government bureaucracy as usual.

In the meantime, a lot of people are freaking out right now, so I’d like to remind everyone that this is not the end of the world.  The world doesn’t end until 2012 (just ask the Mayans) so we can all just relax.  The storm shall be weathered, even if the ride is REALLY bumpy.  Y’all will be back to contemplating Michael Phelps sex life in no time flat.  In fact, I’m so optimistic about the future that I thought I’d try to put a positive spin on things for everyone – if possible.  I give you;

Five Things that are GREAT about this Black Monday.

  1. You can finally tell your Grandpa to shut his yap about how bad the Depression was – now we ALL get the idea.
  2. If you’re in the market for a house, I’m pretty sure you can negotiate sexual favors with certain sellers.  Open House’s are the new Swingers clubs, trust me.
  3. There are now less irritating mortgage company ads on TV.  Unfortunately, they’ve been replaced by bankruptcy attorneys, political propaganda and suicide hotline PSA’s.
  4. Lines in most stores will be quite reasonable, especially higher end stores with a lot of big ticket items.
  5. Finally, we are more likely to have record voter turnout this year than in the past decade (century?).  At long last our youth will be motivated to participate in the electoral process!

So see, you should be feeling better already.  Put away that stock portfolio, shut down your browser full of Vanguard funds and go have a beer.  Hell, go OUT and have a beer – stimulate the economy a little, why don’t you?

God knows we need it.

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