And It’s Only Monday

Yep, this could be it.  The big one.  The lamest, most sadly uninspired piece of shit I’ve ever put onto the web.  Enjoy.  And if you’re a regular reader, you realize that this is really saying something, considering some of my old posts.  So let’s begin. . .

Attended the Easyrider Motorcycle show this weekend.  Yep, nothing quite like walking around a bunch of $100,000 motorcycles when you’re broke to cheer you up.  At least I feel better about the state of my dental work now.  And my ability to bathe EVERY SINGLE DAY too.

They had no musical acts to tell you about as I only heard one – a long haired gentleman named Mace playing acoustic versions of Led Zepplin and AC/DC.  My life is fucking complete now.

And so today [he said jumping ahead] unlike 99% of corporate America, I had to work.  For some reason my company either doesn’t appreciate our past presidents, or is trying to deny that they ever really existed.  Y’know, kinda like nutjobs do about the Holocaust.  Or more likely it has something to do with the fact that we get the whole week of Christmas off so they had to cutback somewhere.  Regardless, getting up when everyone else in your family doesn’t just plain blows goats.  Ah-ha, but they’ll suffer at Christmas time ’cause I’m planning on sleeping for a week.  Vengeance will be mine, all mine.  Muhahahah!

Ok, moving right along.  I went to Wendy’s at lunchtime & the server dude had a huge Immortal tattoo across his left forearm.  And I was thinking that I can honestly say I’ve never seen anyone who was a dedicated Immortal fan – at least enough to get a tattoo.  Second, I was impressed he was a gainfully employed Immortal fan.  But now I’m suspicious my food might have been possessed.

I was gonna look him straight in the eyes when I ordered and go ‘We are the tyrants!’.  And then, y’know – flash him some devil horns and maybe bang my head a little.  Then maybe he’d have jumped over the counter and we’d have started our own little moshpit, right there in the line at Wendy’s.  And I would’ve bloodied some old lady’s nose ’cause she didn’t see it coming.  And he would’ve kicked her in the shins, just onna counta.

But I didn’t.  That would’ve been weird, right?  And he might have put a curse on me or something.  Or got my order wrong (too late on that last one).  So I said nothing and went off to eat my goddamn grilled chicken sandwich and goddamned Caesar side salad all by myself (they were possessed right?  Get it?).  I’m hilarious.

Anyhow, that in a nutshell, is all that was interesting in my life today.

The end.

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